I have just read this post on Learnvest, (not to be confused with the ScottEVest) a financial website aimed at young women (notice how I have subtly included myself in that demographic), which talks about the 13 signs that you are too busy.. Not that I didn’t agree with many of them, but some of the missing pieces that they mention dropped off my radar years ago. So I have put together my own personal ‘too busy and gently losing it” checklist.
1. You can’t remember the children’s names, and start referring to them generically as ‘sweetheart’ to avoid being found out. And you ask them to fill in their details on any school forms to avoid the embarrassment of having to ask them how old they are.
2. You no longer include your partner in any decision making, because you can’t remember whether s/he’s even in the country, let alone going to be home in time to get to the parent’s evening..
3. Your sole method of contact with your extended family is by holiday newsletter, which you made your youngest child write.
4. You send out your entire Christmas card list before realizing that in the frenzy of writing the newsletter, locating addresses and calculating international postage, you forgot to actually write on the card.
4. You now only keep in touch with your friends via mass emails involving inspirational quotes on nature photographs, funny stories about women and knickers, or pictures of cats and dogs doing strange things.
5. Your diet consists of chocolate, caffeinated drinks and gin.
6. You have a panic attack if you lose your phone.
7. Your phone has 3 major cracks where you have repeatedly dropped it while running out of the house juggling dogs, fancy dress costumes and the latest school form, but the thought of being parted from it for the 12 hours it would take to get fixed makes you hyperventilate.
8. You sit at junctions on empty roads and genuinely can’t remember which side of the road you are supposed to be driving on.
9. You choose your doctor / dentist / hairdresser on whether they have an appointment reminder system, because you know that unless you speak to a real person the day before, you have zero chance of ever getting over the threshold.
10. The children ask ” Are you going out somewhere nice?” if they ever see you with make-up on.
11. Your ‘me time’ choice is ‘shower’ or ‘Grey’s anatomy’, and you decide a quick rub-over with a Wet Wipe while lusting over McSteamy counts as an excellent multi-tasking solution.
12. You have started doing your children’s homework for them because it’s quicker than trying to help them with it, and their teacher has threatened them with detention if they bring in another excuse note from you.
13. The children come home with a question about sex and you can’t remember what they are talking about, so you just give them “The Hangover” on DVD and let them figure it out.