These are what I came up with – I’m counting on you all to add your own at the bottom..
You receive a friends and family discount card, and you have absolutely no-one to share it with.
You volunteer as a parent driver, and then get completely lost with 4 sullen children in tow.
When someone says “we must have coffee sometime”, your immediate response is “Now?”
You have 697 Facebook friends, and not one of them lives within 500 miles.
Skype refers to you as “a valued longterm customer”.
You carry snacks everywhere – most of your life is spent battling bureaucracy, your paperwork is inevitably a three hour problem solving exercise.
You routinely carry photocopies of everything from your marriage certificate to evidence of chickenpox immunity in your purse / handbag / glove compartment.
You’re suddenly doing playdates in three languages.
Your intercultural catering relies heavily on cheese and tomato pizza and crepes.
Your first response when someone asks to visit is to check their baggage allowance and issue a list.
You know the luggage allowance for every flight to your location, and which airlines don’t weigh hand luggage.
Most marital disharmony centers around “selfish refusal to check bags’ on business trips, or reluctance to fill aforementioned bags with Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut chocolate, Branston pickle, Bisto etc.
You make your mother carry a Christmas tree to Kenya, complete with decorations.
Somehow, a single plane ride managed to erase your entire career history, and has been replaced with the phrase “What does your husband do?”.